Friday, January 25, 2013

Once Upon a Time

The Super Bowl is quickly approaching us and I cannot honestly tell you who is playing this year... Why? For starters my life is NOTHING as it use to be...

Once upon a time, football was a big part of me. The season would kick off and from Saturday through Monday games were on our TV as we rooted for our favorite teams. I have never been a huge Pro fan, but LOVE College ball! When I wasn't watching it, I would find myself engrossed in conversations. We would talk about score of the past weekend and run our mouths about upcoming games. All in fun, of course! Then, Kev's injuries became more apparent, so much that the Army Medically Retired him out once they found him unfit for duty due to injuries sustained in combat.

I use to be able to keep up with stats, players, scores and so on. I was the girl in a group of guys talking mad crap with confidence because I knew what I was talking about. Now, I am lucky if I can even remember to keep our bathrooms stocked with toilet paper, let alone remember when a game is on television and who is playing.

My priorities have changed immensely in the past couple of years. We are bringing football season to an end in a week and I have yet to watch one game...this makes season two of this. Instead, I spend my days forgetting what day it is unless I look at a calendar while taking care of my wounded husband, children, and myself. It seems our house never has a dull moment. Kevin is under mental health "therapy" every two weeks for his PTSD, then he has appointments for numerous other things at random times. Breanna and her asthma keep me from never wanting to be too terribly far from her. For the most part, it seems as though she has it under control and knows an attack is on it's way before a wheeze even escapes her. Caitlin is falling behind in school and has really had a rough time with her ADHD this past year. She really has me concerned. Nic is...well he is my bright eyed, five year old, full of energy little boy. He NEVER stops and I mean, NEVER! I wish I had just ten percent of the energy he holds!  Then there is me... I have recovered from my surgery, but still have some pain. It will never go away and has now been labeled as chronic pain due to the kidney failure issues and multiple surgeries. There is nothing they can do except put me through surgery every year or so. I have recently found that I am anemic again and have honestly been holding off seeing my doctor because I am just exhausted from feeling like a pin cushion. Before anyone worries, I will be making an appointment on Monday. It just all seems never ending and honestly can be more than overwhelming at times. This is just a small insight of why I am not up on football as I use to be.

This whole post stems from watching those around me, friends and family, discuss football as though it is the only thing that matters in life. I have seen so many become so engulfed in the game like it will really play an actual part in what their life holds. In all reality, football won't affect how any of us are living our lives...it won't pay our bills unless we are  playing the game or illegally gambling. It won't put food on our tables or help cure us of medical issues and hard times. It is a luxury that many take to an extreme. It is a fun sport and just like the next person, I love to get into the game. But it's not my life, nor should it be so important to other people that they stop living their lives or that they live their lives around a game.

Why, as Americans, do we allow ourselves to take a sport to the extreme? So many do and neglect their families, get togethers, and other meaningful things because they let a game take over and push past what their true priorities should be. Maybe I am bitter in a sense because I have been faced with the brutal truth of the reality of war and what it does to families. Football games and so many other things no longer hold an importance in my life because life is too short. Sports are fun, which is what they should be, but whether someone wins or loses won't change the moment I am in or what tomorrow holds.

Instead of focusing on football, I have chosen to focus on what matters in life... My family, Kevin's injuries, my kids and what they are going through, and my health issues. Everything else will fall into place after these things. Our lives are not even day to day, but instead moment to moment now.

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